Australia is having a bad day

– And they didn’t lose the rugby. Well not this day anyway.

I’m recalling Thursday August 27 this year in Christchurch when a 29-year-old Australian terrorist had been sentenced to life imprisonment with no chance of parole. 

The culprit had shot dead 51 people and injured 40 others who were mostly at prayer in two Christchurch mosques.

Reporters from international media attended the four-day sentencing. Stories, including one in the Guardian made a point of saying the criminal was Australian.

While we were relieved by the outcome –the guy appeared to show no remorse when facing survivors of his shooting spree. I did feel a tad sorry for Australia. I then noticed the label on the bottle of wine I had opened. It was an excellent cabernet sauvignon from South Australia.  It was from the Lindsay Collection. Lindsay was an artist. He was a friend of the winemaker’s father. Got me thinking about better times in Australia.

Some years ago I had enjoyed reading a book Journey among men. It was by Jock Marshall and Russell Drysdale, the latter another Australian artist. The book belonged to my former wife. Marshall had been a professor at Monash University where she had graduated from in geography. Hence her reason for having the book.

When I was packing up books when we separated I put Journey among men on my pile. I must have this. Then thought. Well it’s not my book and left it behind. I was subsequently pleased I did.

Soon after hearing the August 27 outcome I checked Book Depository and was directed to a second-hand bookseller, Abebooks.  So I placed my order and it was eventually delivered by courier. It had been published in 1962 and reprinted twice in 1963. That was the end of it.

Two groups set out to explore the Australian outback – one from Sydney, the other from Perth. They join up in Western Australia. Their task is to write stories for London newspapers in an effort to encourage migration to Australia. They set out to study the natural environment –animals etc. and collect zoological samples.  

 

There is a lot of discussion, for example, about marsupials. Kangaroos, wombats quokers amongst them. The young are born and develop in their mother’s pouch. At the time there was much misunderstanding even by international experts how this comes about. Papers had been published claiming the young were fed via a mother’s nipple. That was false according to Professor Marshall who explains how the young are fed in a pouch.

                                 Western Australian Pinnacles dessert north of Perth 

 

But people soon came to fascinate, Drysdale in particular, who went to work with his amazing sketches. So we read about colourful characters one would find only in the Aussie outback. How about Harmonious Harry, Brandy John, Whispering Smith,   Billy the lark, and Tropical Frog amongst others?

                                               Billy the Lark

The book begins when they spot a notice on the door of an outback pub.

Whispering Smith had banned Billy the Lark from drinking intoxicating liquor for three months. Billy the Lark was cook on Whispering Smith’s sheep station. There had been a dispute.

Then there was O’Flaherty’s black eye.

Father O’Dooley spotted it and accosted him in a Port Hedland street.

`Michael O’Flaherty, how did you get that black eye?

He explained he got it from Jimmy O’Rourke in a foight.

`Shame on you for fighting. And double shame for letting a little cocksparrow like Jimmy O’Rourke blacken your eye.’

Mik felt offended.

`It was what he had in his hand, Father that did the damage –and it was an axe handle he had in his hand.  

Father O’Dooley considered the matter.

`And what did you have in your hand, Michael O’Flaherty?’

Mik replied, `I had Mrs O’Rourke’s waist in me hand, Father. A beautiful thing in itself but completely useless in a foight.

Pubs and cold beer are prominent in the Aussie outback.

One existed where no-one seemed to live. The owner had a large spread of sheep country. He kept the outdoors pub as a service to the termites and the few men scattered throughout the district. It had a kerosene refrigerator, an open meat tin with assorted change on a small bench, and above it a bottle opener attached to a piece of string.

Instructions to the rare customer requested anyone taking a bottle from the refrigerator, to replace it with one from the bulk supply. If they cared to, they could leave payment in the meat tin. But above all, for Christ’s sake don’t steal the bottle opener.

History confirms no-one did steal the bottle opener.

                                         The Smiler

When in Broom, Northern Territory, Paddy the carpenter lets fly with his rifle, smashing bottles and glasses from the pub’s counter.

Old Dick said there were bullets and smashed glass everywhere. Harmonious Harry arrived and bullets flew past his ears like bees.

The bland but firm arm of the law arrived and Paddy was taken care of.

Got the story tellers thinking about differences between the Australian never, never and the American West. Despite both sharing a similar time in history, the gun slingers and bounty hunters, idolised by American television, never existed in Australia.

The difference was in the system of justice. In America marshals and judges were elected in a system open to incompetence and corruption.

Australia being colonised by Britain, adopted the British justice system. Police and judges were Government appointees. In any new settlement an official police force was set up to enforce the law. So while lawlessness was rife in Australia, no-one walked the streets with guns slung from their belts. Such outlaws existed as bush rangers but if they appeared in town they were taken into custody. Characters such as Billy the Kid could never have arisen in Australia.

                                                  Little bloke

Following some of their stories being published in the London Observer

Marshall and Drysdale met Andy Watson, the migration officer in London’s Australia House. Watson had commissioned the project.

`I suppose I enjoyed your stories,’ he drawled. `But they won’t encourage anyone to migrate to Australia.’

Those days approved people could migrate to Australia for £10.

According to the migration officer the stories were a failure while, curiously, in other circles they had been declared, superb.

The only commendation the migration officer gave was, `thank God you didn’t mention cricket. That would have been the bloody end.’

They could have written, they were told, about the pleasant Mediterranean climate in Australia, the glass and steel buildings, the new Sydney opera house, and better wages where a typist can afford to purchase an original oil painting.

 `That would have been more useful than stories about Harmonious Jack, Whispering Bill and slightly sordid outback pubs.  

`You have been writing nostalgically about the Australia of Banjo Patterson, Henry Lawson and other bush balladists of the 1800s.’

Here’s my answer to August 27, 2020.

 Australia is in many respects similar to New Zealand –but different. If Australia is having a better day it is in flouting their colourful folklore and their likeable outlandish characters.

Banjo Patterson’s Man from Snowy River was required reading for many of us during our school years.

I recall my Aussie brother-in-law reciting Man from Snowy River while standing beside the campfire, under the stars. We were relaxing having been bush walking in the Victorian mountains.

                                             Brandy John